Mental Roadblock (A Whiny Post)

Argh. The past two weeks have been a daily struggle. I know I can run two and a half miles non-stop without a problem, I’ve done it…but then there are days like today where I can’t even run a full mile. I made it about a half a mile in agony with my right shin. My left shin and right hip also hurt, but not enough to stop me had they been the only pain. In fact the latter two areas probably would have felt better if I had been able to continue an actual jog.

My eating the past couple weeks has been horrid. Worse than normal – fast food, pizza, cream sauces, way too much cheese. Drinking beer and soda with very little water.

Mentally I’ve been absolutely wiped out. Stuff that is indirectly related to work is really eating at me (TSA related). I have not been sleeping well and am exhausted. Moo’s behavior at her group training lessons has been erratic at best which has me worried. And Sadie has suddenly taken to wanting to sleep with me – while that is sweet, it also has me worried because it is so out of character for her. And I got a sneak peek at the work schedule for the first quarter of 2011…I have very little locally and am going to have to travel. A lot. Which then feeds back into the TSA stuff that has me not sleeping.

Right now I want to curl up into a little ball, buried under my blankets and hide. Or rather, a big ball. I weighed in this morning, but I refuse to post it.

I know eventually I’ll get over this hump and things will start progressing again, but at the moment, it feels like things in the running department will be terrible forever. I’ve already registered for the half marathon and made the hotel reservation for March, so there is no backing out. But the way I feel today, I am not even sure I could walk the race, let alone run any of it.

*sigh*

I hate feeling so whiny, but I must admit it feels good to vent some of it here. I appreciate anyone who has read this whole thing and is still following along with me!

In fun news – we got a Kinect to hook up to the Xbox. Along with it, I purchased the Your Shape: Fitness Evolved “game”. I’ve heard good reviews from several people I know (or who Neil knows) about it. So, we’ll see. My plan is to mess around with it on my non-running days. This afternoon I need to get it set up – I am sure I’ll be sharing how that goes!

Right now I am off to sit through a conference call, do some administrative work, and then try my run again.

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9 thoughts on “Mental Roadblock (A Whiny Post)

  1. Aaarrgghh. A rough patch but you can get through it. Getting control of the diet would help you feel much better. I’ll bet. Bad food makes you feel bad and then you feel bad about feeling bad—a really vicious circle. I’m a faithful reader of your blog and have every confidence in you, dear Annie. So whine all you need to and then get back to it. xoxoxo Lots of love and best Thanksgiving wishes, CC

  2. You can do it Anne. As you do this for longer time, you will learn to blow off the bad days. THey do suck. I had an incredibly suckky suckmeister run today. But after all the good I had this weekend I decided it was not that big a deal…

    The key (if there is one) for me when I hit these jags is to keep doing. I try to add in something that helps me conquer the stuff I want to conquer each day, like adding in some extra vegetables, or water.
    I ate pizza this week too and i am sort of regretting it.

    I know the TSA is horrid, and I am sure it is a bigger issue with you because of all the travel you have to do. I suggest getting one of two of those t shirts and wearing them each time you fly, and then trying to forget about it, since there is probably nothing you can do about it…. pretty soon they will only allow us to fly in those paper scrub clothes that we have at the hospital….
    Can I suggest a hot hot bath in some secented epsom salts? and maybe a good movie?

    You are doing great. I’m very excited about your progress. and I don;t want you to discount it for anything, especially one bad day or even a few in a row…

    • Yeah. The TSA thing is really a whole separate issue that ties into some other personal issues I have. I’m not sure yet what my resolution to the problem will be, but I am looking to see what local job openings there are with my company.

      And thank you SO much for your support as well! I know I have definitely come a long way. Eventually stuff will get back on track. For tonight, definitely a nice bath and a movie…

  3. Boo…I’m sorry you aren’t feeling great. I know if you don’t feel good physically it’s difficult to feel good mentally, and vice versa. I feel like I’ve been just churning my wheels since Halloween and not making any progress. If it isn’t one problem it’s another.

    A blog is a great place to vent. I know I’ve been doing a ton of it on mine. I think it’s good to see others’ struggles and to know that you aren’t alone.

    Just take a day and let yourself be miserable and disgusting. Some days are just going to be that way. But pick yourself up tomorrow and keep plugging away!

    You’re awesome!

    • Thanks so much for the kind words! I figure the problematic stuff always seems to happen all at once, so once we both get through this hump in the road things will get better again. And hey, you made BIG progress this weekend – way to go on your race!!

  4. Just imagine how you’ll feel in March looking back at all of this. If it weren’t work and there weren’t bumps along the way the satisfaction of reaching your ultimate goal wouldn’t be as sweet. 🙂

    • Hahaha! Part of me wants to say ‘stick the sweet where the sun don’t shine’, but only because it has just been that sort of day. And once I get past my prickly-pear exterior, I have to admit that I totally agree with you! In another eight weeks I’ll be whining because I can’t run more than four miles on a bad day. 😉

      (At least that’s what I’m hoping for!)

  5. I know what you mean about the eating bad part. I’ve been doing it too, and not running like I should be.

    Don’t worry you’ll get over your funk and work through your issues with TSA.

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