Two Steps Forward, One Step Back…

At least this leaves me here with a gain of one!

At the beginning of September I began a journey to change my lifestyle to a healthier, more active one. And overall, things are going very well. I am definitely moving in the right direction. But it has also been an incredible learning experience. Mostly, learning about myself.

I would never consider myself an “emotional” eater, but over the past month or so I’ve found that isn’t actually true. I am somewhat of an emotional eater. I don’t binge or go off the deep end with junk food. What I do is get lazy when I am down. I eat maybe one total meal a day. I never eat a complete, balanced meal. And I end up perpetuating feeling like crap.

In October I finally had to say goodbye to Sadie. I thought I was doing OK with it…I mean, I miss her terribly and her passing has definitely left a giant hole in our household, but overall I was holding it together. That is, I thought so until I took a hard look at what was happening. I was going to bed around 8pm; on weekends I was sleeping in until 9am or later; I drank coffee and would maybe have a banana or an apple; for dinner I’d have a salad, or maybe cereal, or cheese and crackers. I only managed about three workouts a week. I felt (still feel) like absolute garbage.

It has been good to learn this about myself, that I fall back into these terrible, low cycles. As a result, I am trying (emphasis on the trying) to use resources available to me to keep me going and try to avoid falling into these pits, or at least to get help climbing back out faster than I have in the past. Yes, I do realize what I am describing are very typical depression symptoms. And no, they aren’t new to me, I’ve just never paid much attention before now. And no, I am not going to go see a doctor (at least not so long as I am still self-sustaining and functional in everyday life). The best part is that in addition to recognizing all of this, I have also had enough time with my new lifestyle choices to see how much they help when I get like this. And now I can also be more aware of things that might trigger the downward spiral.

So, after a month of wallowing in my dark place, I am determined to end the year strong. Getting back on the trail and continuing my journey. There is no real end goal, just to trying to live each day a little better than the one before. Improve myself mentally as well as physically so I can enjoy the prime of my life to the fullest.

I am nearly back to square one with my weight, but I suspect that will be a relatively quick fix as it looks like I’ve kept off the inches, despite my falling back into terrible eating habits. With that, it’s time to say goodbye to November and welcome in a most spectacular December!

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A Confession & Wins

I have a confession to make: the day before yesterday is the first time I’ve “voluntarily” worn a bra in years. I’m not even sure why I put it on. I work from home, my yard is secluded…I’m rarely ever in a situation (unless I’m headed out to the store) where I’d been seen. But my reason for not wearing one isn’t the generic “I hate them, they’re uncomfortable”. It’s because I haven’t properly fit in mine after gaining a bunch of weight. So sure, technically it was uncomfortable and I hated it, but what I really hated was that I had gained all that weight and I refused to spend a bunch of money on new ones. (Those suckers are expensive and even more so for us busty gals!) When my bras fit, they are incredibly comfortable and I do like them.

So back to the other day. No idea what prompted me to grab one from the drawer and put it on after my shower, but I’m glad I did. The darn thing fits again!!! In fact, it fits better than it did the day I bought it! Definitely what my friend and coach calls a NSV (non-scale victory).

Speaking of scales, there’s a win there, too. I’m down ten (plus) pounds! The great thing about this journey is that the weight isn’t just falling off. It’s coming off slowly, methodically (though I AM losing inches left and right which is awesome). It is sustainable! I know I’ve said that a lot lately, but this is huge for me. Finally something I can use forever. I don’t have to transition out or learn yet more new eating habits. This is it. Me. My life. My schedule.

I rewarded myself with some new shoes – Puma Cell Riaze Mesh running shoes. I dig the minimal soles on the front of the shoe. I like being able to “feel” the floor when I am doing weights and resistance exercises. I’m not a runner so I cannot speak to how they perform there, but they are perfect for my use. I may need to pick up a second pair.

21 Day Fix: Lessons Learned from a Beginner

I’ve joined a new 21 Day Fix challenge group that starts tomorrow (the “official” 21 days starts on Monday, Oct 5th with four days to prep). If you’re interested, let me know and I’ll connect you with one of the coaches leading the challenge!

With that, I thought I’d put together some lessons learned and lessons remembered from times past (when I was much more fit) that I would have liked to have known going into my first try with this program:

  • You CAN do this! I am a 110% bonnafied couch potato. Even when I’m fit I’d rather sit and read a book or lounge on the patio with a beer than do pretty much anything. Especially *gasp* workout. That said, I am LOVING this program and actually look forward to my daily sweat sessions. And you will be amazed at how quickly you progress. However, also be patient. You will progress quickly, but it may not be in areas you expect or can see. That’s OK! Progress is progress and you are building the foundation for those visible, tangible changes.
  • Is is absolutely OK to modify! I modified the heck out of the modifications my first go around and still do for some of the moves even five weeks in. However, other moves I can now not only do “properly” but with the heavy weights! (I use 3, 5, and 10 lb weights…I strongly recommend getting a set of 8lb to bridge the 5 to 10 gap if you’re able.)
  • Stay hydrated! And I mean follow the eating plan which includes water intake. It may not seem like it matters, but it does. You’ll see what I mean on those days where it just doesn’t happen that you get in all that water. Also, following the eating plan is NOT a “diet”. It is a new view on balanced meals and portion control using real, unprocessed foods. You can use this “plan” forever. My goal is to eventually find a happy balance of including more cheese and beer in my weeks, but that’s after I see more progress toward my current weight-loss goals. I strongly recommend planning each week out over the weekend (or whenever your non-work/free days are). I only cook for one so it is a little easier to plan on the fly and even with that, I still plan on Saturday and shop on Sunday.

All that said, I’d also like to throw in some “technical” pointers:

  • Don’t grip the weights too tight. While obviously you want a firm grip, of you find yourself in a death-grip on them you will wear yourself out fast and potentially put a lot of unnecessary strain on your hands, wrists, and forearms. I learned this from a past personal trainer and “re-learned” it my first week of the 21DF program. Heh.
  • Do NOT let your knees go past your toes when doing lunges or squats. Autumn will mention this during some of the workouts, but I think it’s important to note this ahead of time. Hyperextending your knees puts undue strain on them and can quickly lead to injury.
  • Keep a tiny bend in your knees and elbows (don’t “lock” your joints). Autumn also mentions this at some point in one or two of the sessions, but I think it is better to know up front. Not only does locking your joints run the risk of injury, you also aren’t fully engaging all the muscles and thus aren’t getting the most of your move. Along this same line, control your moves. Don’t swing or kick out, but make your moves purposeful. This also increases the benefits of the move and reduces injury risk.
  • Above all else, listen to your body! There is “holy moly I’m sore because I haven’t used these muscles in over a decade” and there’s “oh wow that ankle REALLY hurts and looks a little swollen”. If you have former (or current) injuries, take care of them. I currently do the Total Body Fix twice a week, substituting it for the Cardio Fix. I do this because the Cardio Fix simply has too many high plank moves that I can’t do due to a former wrist injury (I also have to do alternate exercises during the push-ups on the Upper Fix day). They key here, though, is to keep moving. Find a move or workout that is (somewhat) similar and keep going! (Some high plank moves I can modify and do from my forearms.)
  • Stretch!!! Sore muscles like to be moved…gently. My advice here (in addition to my friends The Hot Bath, Ice, and Advil) is two-fold: first, use the cooldown moves from the end of each of the big workouts either in the morning or in the evening each day (or both!). Stretching is your friend for keeping things loose and also general limberness. Second, keep moving throughout the day. Try not to sit too long at any given time if at all possible. As an example from a bonnafied couch potato – I’m stuck at a desk on conference calls 8-10 hours per day, so I try to use my speaker phone so I can stand and/or walk around a bit and it makes a world of difference.

There you have it. Everything I would have like to have known or be reminded of prior to starting my first round of 21 Day Fix. My last bit of advice would be to spend a little time to watch the workouts without participating. So much easier than trying to figure out what’s coming next the first time through.

I hope I can get some folks interested. I’ve never been one to join the “trendy” workouts or the newest and latest “diets”, and was incredibly skeptical of this until I heard how successful folks who I know and trust have been with it. I decided to give it a shot and it is one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself. I truly believe you won’t be sorry if you also give it a whirl!

30 Minutes – Every. Single. Day.

This week marks four straight weeks that I have worked out a minimum of 30 minutes each day.

Let me repeat one more time:  Every. Single. Day. Seven days per week.

I didn’t exercise that often when I was at my fittest. I have NEVER worked out this consistently. And I feel awesome. I seriously feel like Super Woman!

Over the past week I’ve added to the routine – in addition to following the 21DF schedule, Mon/Wed/Fri I added in the 10-min Ab workout that comes with the program. Tues/Thurs/Sat I added 30 minutes of rowing. Sundays are the Yoga workout only (rest day).

Food continues to be a work in progress…mostly going well with some crazy work days that have me back to eating one big meal at the end of the day. (Only twice this week, though!)

All in all, I am ecstatic at how this is going. It is doable. Enjoyable. I’m seeing (and feeling) fantastic results. I have more energy. I feel happier. Even the insanity at work, while it makes me nuts during the day, isn’t stressing me out. I’m able to leave it “at work” when I shut down at 5pm. I have cheekbones again! I still have a bit of a double chin, but in a few weeks that will be gone too.

I am starting to feel like ME again! I don’t want to be a swimsuit model or look like some super bodybuilder. I just want to get back the energy and drive I had a decade ago. I want to be able to walk into Target and grab some pants or shorts or shirts or dresses right off the rack and have something fit that doesn’t look like my grandmother’s old curtains (sorry grandma) and that I didn’t have to desperately search for on that one rack tucked I into the far back of the department next to the maternity clothes.

I am well on my way with this journey and the timing couldn’t be better…this weekend I will be tearing carpet out of most of my house, painting, packing unnecessary stuff, and hauling things to Goodwill. Getting so close to having this place on the market. And then the Big Move! Market and weather permitting, I hope to be back in the Pac NW by the new year. As this past month has proven to me – ANYTHING is possible!

21 Day Fix: Round 1 (-3.9 pounds, -7 inches)

The program suggests writing down your reasons for wanting to make a lifestyle/health/fitness change. My reason, aside from my overall health (which to date doesn’t seem to be much of a motivator, just something that bounces around in my head), are my nieces and nephew. I need the energy and fitness to keep up with them. I need my health so I am around to witness all their amazing life milestones. And I want to be another good example for them (I’m the ONLY unfit, overweight person in our family).

Back in August I picked up the 21 Day Fix program after hearing great things about it from several friends I trust. I dove right into the eating plan (portion control and “real” foods are the primary focus), but I never really got going with the workouts. Then a friend put together a “challenge” group on Facebook. It’s all about support, encouragement, and the real biggy….accountability. I did it! Successfully even. So here are my thoughts and lessons learned.

First, the program as a whole:

The premise is that it takes 21 days to learn a new habit (better fitness/better eating). I love it. The eating plan isn’t a “diet”. It focuses solely on portion control and types of foods and also helps show you how to spread it out over the course of a day. The idea being that these foods and this plan isn’t something to wean off of or change at the end of the program…it is a lifestyle change to stick with forever. For me, the types of food were easy. I already eat healthful, real foods. It was the balance and portion control I needed to work on (less cheese and spread it out through the day, not all at dinner time).

The workouts are tough, but scalable. 30 minutes, every day (seven days per week). Me being a 110% couch potato could muddle my way through each one, adjusting and modifying as I needed to to accommodate my ability level and some old injuries I need to take care around. And as I got (and continue to get) stronger, I can increase the intensity. Hand weights or resistance bands are the only required equipment. Even I can find 30 minutes in a day, and I’m the Queen of Excuses!

My Round One Results:

Back in August I weighed in at 215.4 lbs and just following the eating plan (which, by the way was MORE food than I had been eating) I lost five pounds. I’d also like to note that while that weight makes me sick to look at, it isn’t the heaviest I’ve been, but seems to be about where I’ve stabilized at for many years now.

The official results for the full 21 day challenge program (starting Aug 31): -3.9 pounds and -7 inches!!!

210.4 to 206.5 lbs, -2 inches in my chest, -4 inches in my waist!!, -1 inch across my hips, and -0.5 inches from my thighs. No measurable change in my arms, but I can SEE and feel the muscles building there.

Lessons Learned:

  • I am stronger than I think I am. Both physically and mentally.
  • I am grateful for my genes and my inherited flexibility…even though I’ve got more to go, I started from a lucky place.
  • I really do need to be careful of a couple old injuries (wrist and ankle), and it is OK if I can’t do all the moves (full planks and push-ups, or moves based from that position, probably won’t ever work for me)…it is OK to find other moves that work!
  • I love rowing – I will be forever grateful to the trainer I went to many years ago who introduced me to rowing.
  • I am worth the effort!
  • I miss cheese and beer…after more progress is made, these will be worked back in in greater quantities! Life is too short to completely give up indulgences you love…within reason.

I feel amazing!!! I still have a long way to go…50 pounds (give or take – I’m not set on an actual “goal” number, but set one as a general target to give me something specific to aim for). I owe a lot of my success to the fabulous women in the challenge group. No judgment. We all had our struggles. And we are all successes.

The next challenge group starts Oct 5th and you can bet I’ll be participating! It’s time to step it up a notch. I’ll be adding 30min of rowing three days a week and three days will include the 10min Abs workout that comes with the 21DF program. I will be working these changes in between now and the 5th…no losing momentum and undoing progress now! I’ll be checking back in toward the end of October with (hopefully) more good results.

Bloody Mary

I have made a concerted effort to cut back on beer. The roadblock with this is that I don’t particularly love wine and I am not much of a hard alcohol drinker. Don’t get me wrong, I will drink most adult beverages in the right setting, but beer has always been my go-to drink of choice. And not that sissy light beer stuff. I love the amber ales. And it goes directly to my belly. How I managed to avoid the “freshman fifteen” in college with my love of beer I will never know, but I wish I had retained that ability!

Recently I discovered I love Bloody Marys. But only when made a certain way. Spicy, but not too spicy and thick. I hate them if they are too watery. And I don’t like them with meals – they are an ‘on their own’ drink. I finally got brave and started making my own and have come up with a recipe that does it for me.

In the perfect sized glass (I have some plastic tumblers I got for the patio that are the perfect mixing size – no idea how much they hold):

  • 5 big dashes of Worcestershire sauce
  • 4 dashes of Tabasco
  • a dollop of horseradish
  • celery salt
  • fresh ground black pepper
  • 2 shots of Absolut Peppar vodka
  • Fill the glass with Harris Teeter’s organic tomato juice
  • garnish with 2 hot okra pickles, or olives stuffed with garlic and jalapeños, or with traditional celery, or pretty much any other pickled vegetable (or if I make it a meal, all of the above!)

Mix well.

Oh and everything going into the glass needs to be nice and cold. Vodka from the freezer, garnishes and juice from the fridge.

The best part is that one drink satisfies me unlike with beer where I would have at least two, maybe more, and I get my vitamin C for the day to boot. We’ll see with time if this helps fight the battle of the belly bulge. Sure, I could just stop drinking all together, but where’s the fun in that?

Um…hello?

Wow. I half expected to see cobwebs hanging off the page and all when I logged into this site today. Needless to say, it’s been a while.

My life exploded.

Nope. That isn’t right. It deflated. Everything that has happened has been a long time coming, but I really wasn’t expecting it to end the way it did (my relationship, that is). Or as suddenly as it did. It was sort of like a bouquet of cut flowers – they are dying from the get-go, but you don’t really notice they are wilting at first. And you can always sort of pick out the early faders to keep the vase looking good. But then one day, you go to add some water to it and wham. All the flowers are dead, petals everywhere and that’s it. It’s done.

Immediately following the sudden deflation of my personal life, I acquired three tiny kittens. They were around three weeks old – eyes open, ears just opening, definitely nowhere near being weaned. My neighbor found them at a job site and they couldn’t be left where they were due to construction. No sign of momma cat and he knew a shelter would have put them down. So, sucker that I am, I said, “Bring them here.” (It didn’t help that he sent me a picture of them – all three solid white fuzzballs).

Rooty (named so because he loved to root around), Patch (named because we thought he might lose an eye; thankfully, he won’t), and The Princess (she just is). Initially we had all sorts of issues. Fleas,eye infections/ulcers, dehydration, and  terrible constipation. The constipation was so extreme that I had to be taught by my vet how to give them kitty enemas at home (don’t ask – thank the skies it is over). Now everyone is healthy with the exception that both Patch and TP are going to need reconstructive eye surgery. They both have eyelid agenesis (coloboma). Essentially they are missing part of their eyelids. If they do not have the surgery they will go blind even with eye drops administered every few hours ever day of their lives. So, for now they get drops every 2-3 hours and three times a day also antibiotic ointment to stave off infections from the irritation from dryness and their fur rubbing against their eyes. In the spring we’ll do the surgery. Now if I can just get TP to wean.

Then there is Moo. The same weekend the kittens showed up, she decided to grab the brand new bottle of her allergy medicine off the kitchen counter and eat it. A 30 day supply. She almost died. Phone calls to the ASPCA animal poison control hotline, a trip to the emergency vet, and a very scary couple days. She is fine now and I am much more careful about putting everything away.

There’s my list of excuses. I have been mentally shutting down the past several months, but this past month in particular has been close to full-on hibernation. I’m working on it. Picking myself back up. Getting into a new routine. Don’t even get me started on my lack of eating and the poor nutrition of the crap I do eat. Maybe tonight I will be able to make myself cook something. Maybe in another few weeks I will even have the energy to think about exercising again. At least the thoughts are there…the actions will follow.